Active vs. Passive writing
I'm often asked about the difference between active and passive writing, how to spot it, and how to write with an active voice.
I'm by no means an expert but I've been told I write with an active voice, so I figured I'd write an article about it. Note that everything I know I've learned from actual experts. Below is a consolidation of those teachings, along with my own theories.
At its core, in an active sentence construction, the subject performs the verb (SVO - subject-verb-object). In a passive construction, the subject receives the verb.
In the most basic active voice, examples would be:
“Max ran across the street.”
"The monkey eats the banana."
The passive version of the monkey's lunch is:
"The banana is eaten by the monkey."
In this example, the subject receives the verb.
Adding a gerund verb form (+ing) to the sentence makes it more passive:
"The banana is being eaten by the monkey."
Oftentimes, an SVO construction can have a passive voice when using was + a gerund verb. For example:
"Max was running across the street."
There is another level, however, and that's perspective. We don’t know the POV of Max's example sentences.
It could be Max’s or it could be someone else’s.
The most common instances of passive writing occur when using perspective—at least this is what I see. Usually, it’s a “could + sense word” or “was + gerund verb” construction (or combination).
For example, if writing in first person, I often see something like these:
"I could see Max was running across the street."
"I was watching Max running across the street."
Both cases are what I call double-passive, since the subject is “I” though we’re in the narrator's perspective. But even in an active construction, the sentence is still passive since we're creating a redundant perspective.
e.g., "I could see Max run across the street."
(Note, sometimes you might need "could" or "was watching," in certain circumstances, such as if there was something preventing the narrator or character from seeing, or the character was doing something else and emphasis is needed on time.)
Another example of passive:
"I saw Max run across the street."
Or even:
"I could see Max."
"I could smell the coffee."
In all cases above, since the narrator is technically always the subject in first-person POV, we can remove “I” all together and put the reader in the narrator's head and make Max the subject. This brings us back to:
"Max ran across the street."
"The coffee's aroma filled the room."
The other layer is putting time into the sentence, such as:
"Max was running across the street when the shooting started."
So, the ultimate passive voice would be:
"I could see Max was running across the street when the shooting started."
(This sentence is also very "sticky.")
The ultimate active version of this would be:
"Max ran across the street. Shots erupted."
Now, all that said, there are times to use “could,” time words, or even passive writing by choice. It’s critical to vary cadence and sentence length.
If every sentence was a SVO construction, the reader would be bored to tears. In that sense, using a gerund form of the verb can also be used to keep the active, first-person POV but also vary the cadence.
Editors and teachers often say not to do this, but I’ll argue that in a 100K book (or really anything above 20K), it’s critical. For example:
"Running across the street, Max pulled out his cell phone."
Even though it’s not SVO construction, it’s still active since the subject is performing the action.
Another layer of active voice is showing versus telling. A separate article can be written about this subject, but it's important to mention it in any discussion on active voice. At its core, when telling, the writer conveys information. When showing, the writer evokes emotion (which is the job of the fiction writer).
A telling example:
"It was raining outside."
This is both telling and passive. Putting it into active voice doesn't solve the problem and also doesn't sound natural:
"It rained outside."
Therefore, strive to show the scene and emotions of it, which will almost always put the writing into active voice and automatically elevate it.
"Max stepped outside. Fat drops pelted his bare scalp. Steam rose from the scorched sidewalk. Despite now standing in soaked clothes, the downpour soothed his body--and mind."
A little hackney, for sure, but I hope this example conveys the idea.
Thoughts? Drop me a line. I'd love to hear them.
